Friday, July 15, 2005

job interview

for the past couple of weeks, i have been sending out my resume to a ton of places and going to interviews. i never hear anything back, and when i call, i'll get a voice mail and no one bothers to get back to me. i have a job, but i hate it so much, im not treated fairly and i don't recieve a full time employees benefits. i'm sick of it, so i have been trying my hardest to find something better; to do it on my own and not have to rely on a temp agency to place me somewhere would be absolutely ideal. i'm so sick of taking the time off work(which shows in my pay checks) and going on a dead end interview. why can't employers be straight forward and tell you what they really think about you, and if you even stand a chance being hired? why the hell does everyone sugar coat shit. its so frustrating and so ridiculous and it just makes me feel like a complete loser because they sound so promising on the phone and during then interview, then i never hear back.

i've thought about just quitting nichicon and focusing all my spare time on finding a better job, but then i would have no money coming in, and that would suck a hell of a lot more than my current situation. but what am i supposed to do? keep taking the time off of work to find something better and either risk the chance of them firing me or having an abnormally smaller pay check at the end of the week. *blah* who knows. life just needs to cut me some major slack.

this morning i had an interview at 8am. it was for diamond marketing solutions for a reception position. it pays the same as nichicon but i'd recieve benefits (blue cross and blue shield insurance) ater 90 days, and then i can start a 401k after working there a year. not to mention it's maybe a 5min drive from my house so that would be a major plus, especially when the weather gets crappy and snowy. i dunno, i am so bad at reading certain people. i tried my damndest to just put on the best act possible but who knows. the lady was nice and we seemed to click on a professional level. however, she said that she was going to run the ad again next week and then pick the 4 top candidates for the job and send them back for a 2nd interview. which basically means "if we don't find someone better, you have the job." she did say she needed the position filled asap and i have no problem starting as soon as they need me.

i just cant compete with people. there is always going to be someone smarter and better than you. you could have all the confidence in the world, but its not going to change the fact that someone could do a better job at something than you could. eh, thats my negative side talking, and its been doing it a lot lately. but yeah.

anyways, im done rambling for now. its almost lunch break, i might go to old navy or something and spend some money.
xoxo

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